Hey,  writers.  Today will be the last time (for now) that I write about the Krystal Test.  I had some things to say about Minions.  But first, there’s one character that I consider the epitome of passing the Krystal Test.  Who could that be?

Hit the jump, writers, and let’s discuss.

Super Mega Ukulele!

Let’s try something a bit harder, writers.  Say you were trying to pass the Krystal Test for the Minions movie.  What are we working with now?

Short, yellow creature
Short, yellow creature
Short, yellow creature
Short, yellow creature
Short, yellow creature
Short, yellow creature
[etc.]

In this case, the differences will likely be more simplistic.  Here’s an image I found.

For one thing, all the Minions seem to be the same gender so there won’t be a Chun Li Effect here.  Well, what does that leave us with?

Look at the image again.  See the differences for in their appearance.  Short/tall or thin/wide?  Literally even the number of hairs on their heads gives us some differentiation.  The one that always stood out to me was the Cyclops character.  Everybody’s got two eyes, except for the Cyclops, of course.

Later on, we are introduced to the purple skin Minion.  While not quite the Chun Li Effect, if you’re the only purple skin Minion in a room full of yellow, you’re going to stand out.  Well played, Dreamworks.

Having said that, I did more digging on their designs.  Apparently, there’s more than one Cyclops.  I didn’t even know.  In this case, I would be the “Krystal” in question.  Now, a true fan might have noticed that, but I surely didn’t.  Having said that, I know there’s a Kevin and I know there’s a Bob, but I couldn’t for the life of me tell you which is which.

Blinding Neon

Writers, I have to warn you about something my friend told me about.  I mentioned the Krystal Test to him and he told me about a movie that was made a long time ago.  This was a war movie.  The reality is that the vast majority of the people fighting in that war were white males.

So naturally, the casting involved a lot of white males.  Here’s the thing:  They’re all…white males.  It was to the point where they were all about the same height, same weight, and of course the same age.  In this case, what could the powers that be do?

Each soldier then had name tags placed onto their helmets.  This was completely historically inaccurate.  Having said that, someone way back then was already worried about their own Krystal Test.  “How on earth are we going to make sure that the audience can tell one guy from the other?”  Well, in this case, they literally put the names with the faces.

It’s a little awkward, but hey, it got the job done.

Let’s strive for better, writers.  Make sure your characters pass the Krystal Test.

Peaks and Valleys

So which character would I consider the pinnacle of passing the Krystal test?  I’ll put it to you this way, writers.  When I list these characteristics, which character comes to mind?

<> A black,
<> bald man
<> with a goatee…
<> …and an eye patch.

Okay, seriously, I’ve been watching movies/reading books/reading comics/watching TV for nearly my entire life.  ZERO characters fit all those descriptions except for…

Samuel L. Jackson, AKA Nick Fury from the Marvel movies.

Alright, writers, can you name any other character that fits all those characteristics?  I literally can’t.

Hm…maybe an easier sign off today:

Is there a character that you love that passes the Krystal Test?

Sound off in the comments with your favorite! 🙂

Aloha,
Alvin

P.S.  Okay, seriously, I can’t name a single character that fits the description of the Nick Fury character from the movies.  Literally, every story I’ve ever come across.  Ever.  Kind of crazy if you think about it.

P.P.S. Here’s a movie poster I found.  Can you differentiate the very naked characters?  Haha 🙂